Smooth Criminal: The Unfortunate Chaos of Lime Crime Cosmetics

Published on February 26, 2013 by   ·   4 Comments

I want to love you, Lime Crime.  I really do.

Poison-ivy-wigWho else makes a green lipstick and actually makes it work?  I mean really work.  Serpentina is fucking fierce.  It’s every sexy, sassy Poison Ivy drag fantasy I’ve ever had packed into one tiny purple unicorn-encrusted tube.  Serpentina is actually what piqued my interest in Lime Crime in the first place.  I had heard the brand mentioned in passing a couple of times on various tutorials, and when I did a casual search I ran across the picture of the amazing emerald lips I used for the feature image for this post.  Theatrical makeup brands like Graftobian usually offer a green lipstick, but generally it’s a pretty flat green with no sparkle or sheen to it so that you can more easily blend it into whatever character look you are putting together.  Nothing like Serpentina.  I decided that for Serpentina alone, it was worth giving the brand a try.

Lime 01I went to their website, Lime Crime, in early February and started to look around.  It quickly became clear that Lime Crime was the new heir to the legacy of old school Urban Decay (before their Sephora Days, when they could be found in head shops and indie record stores, right next to – and in colors matching – the Manic Panic hair dye): wild lipsticks in pastels like yellow and mint, flourescent colors and metallic-y shimmers, a whole collection of glitters inspired by constellations in the Zodiac, and bold eyeliners in chartreuse and white and royal purple.  I remember girls in my high school getting a catalog called Delia’s in the mid-90s and being shocked by the pastel lipsticks; these were the same crazy colors and the pictures made them look creamy and gorgeous with amazing coverage.

Lime 02I’m not sure if they are or not.  I wasn’t able to get a lipstick for myself.  When I went to their site at the beginning of February, I noticed that several of the colors had banners by them that said “Sold Out;” a little annoying, but not totally unexpected for a small indie brand.  Besides, Serpentina did not have such a banner and that was the product I’d searched out the site for, so all was good and right with the world, right?  Wrong.  When I clicked on Serpentina, it had a message stating that this was a “seasonal” color and wouldn’t be returning again until fall.  Same for a black lipstick called Styletto.  There were several pastel shades that were also seasonal with an expected arrival date of March 1.  A neon pink called Geradium was set to launch on Valentine’s Day.  Once you took out all of the seasonal colors and the colors that were out of stock, more than half of their lipstick offerings were unavailable!  The ones that were left were your more standard pinks and reds, nothing truly spectacular or unique.  $15.99 isn’t super expensive for a lipstick, but the colors that were available to order weren’t all that different from offerings from a number of other brands for the same price or less.  I decided to give the lipsticks a pass for the time being; I figured I could maybe return in March once the pastel shades have made their comeback.

Lime 03The primary image when I first got to the Lime Crime site was advertising their Velvetines gloss: a lipgloss that applies with a velvety texture, semi-matte with amazing coverage and the photos were luscious.  But once again, I was greeted by a message that these items were out of stock and were expected back in sometime in March.  Once again, the product that drew me in was being offered up in exquisite photos, but I can’t get my hands on it.  I almost surfed away to a more reliable brand, and probably would have if things hadn’t started looking up a bit in the lip gloss department: their Carousel lip glosses featured a stunning emerald gloss called Hollygram, which promptly ended up in my shopping cart with a clear prismatic glitter gloss called Snowsicle.  I also picked up two eyeliners (a matte white called Lunar Sea and a frisky lime green called Citreuse), a five-color eyeshadow palette called Lime 04  Alchemy (the shadows all feature a “duo-chrome” effect that gives them a metallic sheen and the color changes somewhat depending on the light and the angle at which it is viewed), and a fairytale-inspired hand mirror featuring the Lime Crime logo that was on clearance.

When I received my package, I was very impressed with the quality of the packaging: the containers are very high quality and the design is attractive and fun.  The purple and lime green look good together without being garish, and their unicorn logo works well with their quirky brand.  The shadows applied gorgeously and blended very well, and the eyeliners applied perfectly, drying to the exact color that shows through the plastic tube.  The lip glosses had a light vanilla-y smell that was pleasant, if perhaps a bit faint, and they went on smoothly and weren’t too sticky or uncomfortable to wear. I had no real complaints about the products that I did receive, but my mind kept coming back around to all of the items I wasn’t able to get or that were there to tease me for upcoming seasons and release dates.

Lime 06I decided I wanted to give them another try; I figured that since Geradium came out on February 14 and the pastels and Velvetines were both going to be in stock in March, I could make a return trip to get a few lip colors and see if they truly were worth the wait.  I went to the website on February 26th to see if I could get a specific date in March for the out of stock and seasonal products; when I got there, I saw that Geradium was already listed as being sold out.

Oh, Lime Crime.  Why do you have to make it so hard to love you?

Lime 05

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Readers Comments (4)
  1. Minneapolismama says:

    The packaging IS awesome–too bad they don’t have a bigger stock. I love to read your makeup recommendations and tips.

    Can you make a recommendation for good eye shadow that has good color saturation and is nice for a daytime look?

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