Dirty Twat: Why I Finally Gave In And Joined Twitter

Published on July 16, 2013 by   ·   1 Comment

0 Tweet ThisI know I’m always the last one to the party when it comes to technology and gadgets; MySpace was already starting its downward shame spiral when I finally got a page, and I held on even when it was mostly just me, a couple of C-grade porn stars, and Tila Tequila.  I was coerced into Facebook, only as a supposedly suitable replacement for the aforementioned MySpace page, and only in the last year have I gotten into playing around with Pinterest.  But I’ve always consciously avoided Twitter.  As a former college-level writing instructor, I can assure you that no matter what the current Ritalin-fueled, self-absorbed “Keeping up with the Kardashians” generation has come to believe, some thoughts really do require more than 140 characters to express.  I’ve always felt that Twitter was for hipsters with ADHD, just like InstaGram is for hipsters who can’t read.  I had no time to give to that obnoxious little blue bird and his bite size missives.

So what made me finally give in and open my twat to the world?

Strangely enough, it was this website, my very own World of Champagne.  Those of you who check in here often (you are checking in, aren’t you?  Hey guys?  You are, right?!) know that I can be a little slow updating content.  Don’t get me wrong: I love to do it.  I love thinking up new areas to explore (since the site’s launch last summer, we’ve added the Local Arts & Theatre section, covering local productions and offering profiles and reviews, and the Makeup Forum, with lots of great posts about cosmetics and makeup for the aspiring queen or the genetic girl with flair) and I love writing the posts, blogs, and announcements.  But it’s a labor of love.  It happens after my “real job” is done for the day, or on my days off, and it takes some time.  I was surprised to find how satisfying it can be to have to limit yourself to only 140 characters for a complete thought – you all also know by now that I can be pretty long winded!  Sometimes you just want to jump online, say some shit you have to say, and be done with it.  It’s very freeing.

amandabynesshamI also recognize the power of social networking, both as a tool for change and as a tool of self-promotion.  When shit went down in Steubenville, Ohio earlier this year, none of us would probably know anything about it if it weren’t for intrepid bloggers and internet watchers who kept up with the information, saved screenshots for evidence, and wouldn’t let a town more concerned with its football program than about the crime of rape bulldoze over a young woman’s life and dignity.  And though my own personal twats aren’t nearly so life-changing, they can be just as powerful – they allow me to promote my site and my work as a performer to people who might never have stumbled across the World of Champagne on their own.  By opening my site up to new readers, I can hopefully help it to keep growing and changing and become even more successful.

And let’s be real: I just couldn’t stay away from the total hot brick mess that is Amanda Bynes.  Her twats are becoming the stuff of legends in the world of celebrity meltdowns.  It hasn’t quite reached the Britney-shaving-her-head-and-beating-up-a-minivan-with-an-umbrella level of greatness, but she’s left poor, sad, practically-unemployable Lindsay Lohan in a cloud of dust.  Perhaps this time I will finally be able to realize my secret dream of becoming a Celebrity Super-Nanny and whip that poor girl into shape.  I smell reality show…

And as you’ve come to expect from me, I’m going to be just as rude and irreverent as always, just in a shorter format.  I say what I’m thinking, and my twats shall have the same dirty diva attitude as my site and my live shows.  You can take a girl out of the trailer park, but you can’t make her stop being a cheap slut who’s probably fucking your husband as you read this.

So now that I’ve joined the rest of the twat-obsessed world, please follow me @JanessaJaye to pick up whatever gems of wisdom I may drop like it’s hot on your unsuspecting minds, and show me all the wild and wonderful things the TwatterVerse has to offer.  And know that if you follow me, I will never abandon you – not because I’m super loyal or anything, I’m just too fucking lazy to learn yet another social networking platform.

Follow Me@JanessaJaye

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Readers Comments (1)
  1. […] Dirty Twat: Why I Finally Gave In And Joined Twitter Miss Jaye continues her misadventures with social media by joining the network where all you ever need to know can be said in 140 characters or less. […]





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