Get Bitch Slapped!

Published on December 18, 2016 by   ·   No Comments

If you love your makeup products with a bit of an edge, then I’ve found the perfect beauty brand for you: Bitch Slap Cosmetics!

I first heard about them in a post that was circulating facebook about a company making highlighters with dicks on them.  For real.  And that’s kind of their schtick: their highlighters come in a wide range of colors and unique mixtures but all of them have a theme.  Most of them show some sort of naughty image, but they also have some referencing marijuana, foods, and even horror and music icons.  I had to order some of these great highlighters to try them out, though they look so fun it’s hard to imagine ruining the images!

THE DICK TRIO

Dick Trio 02

Since this is how I was introduced to the brand, I decided to get a trio of dick highlighters.  Bitch Slap sells all of their highlighters individually and they come in a metal pan, ready to be popped into a Z Palette, but they also sell individual plastic compacts or three-space palettes to make things easier.  I decided to go with their palettes and ordered two sets.  This first set includes two of the “Deep Throat” shades – Dark and Rainbow – as well as “Big Papi, a shimmery rose pink with gold and silver for the outline of the nude form.  Here’s a breakdown of what I thought of each of these lovely fellas:

Black Dick 01DEEP THROAT – DARK

This one is the biggest stretch to call a “highlighter” – like Jeffree Star’s Onyx Ice, the shade is really deep and wouldn’t really work to highlight even very dark skintones.  The primary shade looks almost black, but when it’s applied it’s actually a really deep warm brown with some red sheen too it that is emphasized if you swirl in the red from the border.  This would make a fabulous eyeshadow shade or even an interesting blush for a more editorial look, but it’s not going to work as well for everyday wear unless you’ve got a really dark skintone.  The formula packs a lot of pigment, but if you work it over with a clean brush, it actually lightens up rather nicely.  I don’t know that this one will make it into frequent rotation, but I wanted something a little different and I definitely got it!

Rainbow Dick 01DEEP THROAT – RAINBOW

It’s like the rainbow highlighter from Bitter Lace Beauty that started the whole crazy, but with a big gold dick plopped right down in the center!  I played around with a small eyeshadow brush to transfer the individual colors to my hand for a swatch and it worked alright, but I think you’d have a hard time getting the rainbow to your cheek without painting stripe by stripe.  That big ol’ gold dick is going to get all up in your business!  If you swirl it all together it’s supposed to make sort of a light gold shimmer and I think that’s best with this guy – stick to the plain rainbow highlighter if you want that effect.  This dick ruins everything (in absolutely the best way, of course!).  By the way – Bitch Slap also has a plain rainbow highlighter in their collection in case you want to skip the dick and go right for the glow!

Pink Dick 01BIG PAPI

This one I’m actually really excited to try out with a drag look.  One thing that was really missing from Jeffree Star’s skin frost collection (up until his Black Friday releases) was any sort of pink option, and even now you’ve only got a super light icy pink or a deep neon fuchsia.  This is a beautiful Barbie pink with gold shimmer that I think will be lighter than Regina George but still pack a deeper pink punch that Princess Cut.  Plus the gold shimmer will give it some dimension.  You could add it over your blush to lighten and brighten, or just highlight above your blush – just make sure you’re working with cool tones!  The little bit of gold in here doesn’t cancel out all of the blue-toned pinks or the silver sparkles also found in the outline.

THE PUSSY & POT TRIO

Naughty Trio 01

The next trio features one of the newer “VaJJ” highlighters (I mean, fair is fair, right?) as well as two pot-themed highlighters.  In addition to getting ones that I thought were fun and showed off a wide representation of the brand, I also wanted to make sure I got a range of colors so that they would actually be useful!  These were exactly what I was looking for:

White Vajj 01VAJJ – WHITE

This highlighter is a snowy white with some silver reflects, and it’s a perfect basic cool highlighter.  Swirling in some of the red from the design adds just the faintest hint of pink, but it can’t do much to really transform that strong base color.  This is actually a really versatile piece, as you could also use this as a show to highlight under the brow bone or in the inner corner of the eye.  You could also use this to further lighten up the pink of Big Papi to get an icier, more silvery pink.  I think this is a solid addition to any makeup kit and is one of the truest colors of the collection that I’ve seen.  It’s a bright white and it doesn’t pretend to be anything else.  The red adds a little variety and it works out well with the design, but pick this up for the versatility more than the laughs.  It’s one of my favorites of the 7 shades I bought.

Blue Pot 01BLUEBERRY KUSH

This one is clearly trying to be competition for Jeffree Star’s Deep Freeze, but unfortunately this one just doesn’t have the same pigment pop as that JStar shade.  For those who think the Skin Frosts are way too pigmented and aggressive, then this might be a great alternative for you (same with the next one as well).  I had to go over my swatch 3 times to get even close to what the swatches for Deep Freeze look like, but this one is definitely lighter and has a more silvery tone (which I’m sure is only enhanced if you swirl in the silver outline to the design).  This is blue, but more wearable.  It definitely will take you out of the everyday (it’s still blue, y’all) but if you are feeling brave enough for blue but not brave enough for BLUE – well, then this just might be the happy medium for you to change up your color routine.

Pot Leaf 01GREEN KUSH

Similar to the last one, this is like a milder, more silvery infused version of Jeffree Star’s Mint Condition.  I know that everyone has their own highlighters now, but it’s hard to talk about highlight, especially odd colored highlighters like green and blue, without mentioning Jeffree Star.  And this one is paying tribute to Mint Condition, one of the original Skin Frost shades, without being as obviously green and more silver.  It almost has a bit of a blue presence that I wasn’t expecting.  I personally would have liked it to be more green, and maybe a deeper color.  I mean, you’re basing your design off the ultimate green – why not make it a more lime-based green or even a bright true green with silver sparkle?  I think this was a missed opportunity, though I do appreciate the color for being a little bit out there.

UPDATE: After publishing this article, I went through and reswatched with finger swatches instead of a brush swatch and the pigmentation on both the green and blue Kush highlighters was much fuller.  The brush I used was a more tightly packed than the typical brush I would use for highlighter, so that probably affected the swatches.

JASON VOORHEES

This is the last of the highlighters that I ordered, and I don’t think I can bring myself to use it!  It’s so adorable!

The base of the highlighter is a white with a light gold sheen, and the red and black accents make Jason’t signature hockey mask as well as some blood splatters.  They also had a Freddy Krueger face and Chucky from Child’s Play, but Jason is my jam.  I bought one of Bitch Slap’s standalone compacts, and the owner seems to have known how I was planning to arrange them because she even put a sticker on the bottom of the compact with the a picture of the hockey mask and the name of the product!  Well, I suppose my selections did lend themselves to pretty obvious collections.  But what if I’d intended to isolate the VaJJ and put Jason in with the pot highlighters?!  Still, I appreciate the thought!

My overall thoughts on the brand?  I like it!  I love that they are absolutely fearless with their designs – they have a gold highlighter stamped with a manicured hand giving the bird called “No Fucks Given” and that’s absolutely how they operate!  They have fun and quirky designs and are visually unforgettable.As for the product itself, it’s definitely not as pigmented as other highlighters on the market, especially if you’re comparing it to Skin Frost, but it gives you a nice soft color that will work for most people’s highlighting needs.  And if the color isn’t exactly what you want for highlighting, these can also double as shadows or mixed in with your blush routine, so you definitely get some versatility here.  I’ll definitely be back to this fun, no fucks given brand and I hope you’ll check them out as well.

Everyone deserves some good dick from time to time.

Now Go Forth & Get Painted!

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